I wasn’t dead yet. I held onto that thought like a bus ticket. It was too easy to be wrong about those kind of things so I devised a plan B in case I was actually dead. That plan didn’t involve very much planning so I started to feel more relaxed about my penultimate position. The next step would be the crucial one, the one that had never occurred to me.

I immersed myself in the sea of forgetfulness and all my cares momentarily drained into the depths, only to return seeking vengeance. My life was a frail construction of sagging hopes built on amorphous foundations, battered by the wind. I was an animal shivering on the doorstep, hoping for a free lunch and a warm bed.

Later I was seized by forces beyond my control and bade to pay attention to the universe. Surprisingly I had failed to notice it before until it was pointed out to me. I was gripped by the desire for desire. My body writhed and tried to escape from my calamitous mind.

The beast had me in its vice like clutches, squeezing the life out of me. I wasn’t dead yet I reasoned correctly, it’s just been a bad week. Thankfully I realized that I was beyond understanding, a confused mess created by god knows what.