What kind of place was this? It didn’t matter whether I was awake or asleep because surely dreams couldn’t be this bizarre. I was caught in some netherworld; an in-between zone caused by a rift in reality, and brought to life by a hyperactive imagination.

The air was warm and moist, filled with faint breezes wafting and weaving. Various competing scenarios jostled for my attention; a charming interior with a vase of flowers sat strangely next to an unconvincing great ape, while a volcano erupted laconically in the distance. Nothing made sense again and again.

The picture changed again, as though a bored deity was changing channels on a remote control. I was ridiculous, an absurd figure battling a nonsensical foe in a contrived environment. What good would three heads be when just one had caused me so many problems.

I was quite prepared to walk away from this vexing issue when the classical Grecian warrior began to poke me with his spear. Really, it was too much! My shiny scales were of little defence against this mad usurper and I became a bit angry. Or rather the three of me did…which was most confusing. All I could hope for was that I would wake up and begin this dream again.